Recently, I’ve been caught up in what feels like absolutely everything. I was finding it difficult to live in the ‘now’ and it felt like no matter what I did or how hard I tried, nothing was going right. I thought that I was on top of everything, I thought that I had control over my life. And guess what? I don’t. I don’t think anyone does really. Yes, you make decisions in life but ultimately, there’s a plan laid out for us and I was forgetting to trust the universe with this one. Below I’ve listed the 3 main concerns that drove me to what I’ve called a ‘mini break down’ but in reality, it was the world telling me to stop, think and reflect:
Firstly, my work life can get chaotic and there’s a lot going on and every now and then I let this take over my personal life (wrongly, I’ll admit to that). What I mean by this, is that, I bring home my work problems, I forget to leave them in the office. I’ll either work late or simply still be thinking about work no matter the time, no matter the company I’m in. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s hard to turn off when you are SO involved in your work…But there’s a time and a place, and it isn’t at home.
Secondly, my skin. I’ve posted about this before… It was also taking over my life. There was a very small proportion of my life where I wasn’t worrying. I’ve tried most things for my skin and it’s still hard to get it right.
Thirdly, and most importantly, family. I was lucky enough to be working from home when I got a phonecall saying that a family member was being taken to A&E and it didn’t look good. That was it. My life flashed before my eyes. What would I do without them? How much of my life would they miss? Did they know how important they were to me, how much I depended on them?
Well, as you can see my mind was worrying about a lot. My family (the most important thing to me), my work, myself. I wasn’t giving myself any time to enjoy life, to sit back and see what was happening before me. Just constantly thinking. And yep, I had a mini break down.
I went into work on the Monday morning trying to carry on as normal when my manager asked me if I was okay and I sobbed. I snapped at my team. I couldn’t do my job. I’m really lucky to have a manager who takes the time to go above and beyond her job. She listened to what was going on in my life and told me I needed a personal day. So I finished off the Monday as normal went home and thought about what a ‘personal day’ meant.
I’m not very good with days off… I try and fill them up with things. So what on earth was this day going to do for me? I woke up and laid in bed and made some serious decisions about what I was going to do. I exercised to clear my head. I read books like the Tao of Pooh, The power of now and some healthy recipes. Next to me, I kept a notebook and wrote down anything that really reached out to me. Quotes, recipes, links etc. During the day, I realised that I needed to make changes in my life. I will burn out if I continue not to allow some space into my life. So, my conclusions were:
1) Do something that I enjoy every day (baking, yoga, photography…). Helps me to forget about work.
2) Stop stressing, you can’t control everything in your life. Let it go. Skin is not the be all and end all. I’ve found some lovely skincare and this helps (I’ll share soon).
3) Tell the people I love that I’m thinking about them and that I love them. You really don’t need to wait to see someone / wait until they contact you to let them know how important they are in your life. What if one day it’s too late? It really isn’t worth the risk.
I think that perhaps this is getting to intense for Sunday… So, I’ll end this blog with a question that I came across on my ‘personal day’:
“Is there joy, ease and lightness in what I’m doing?”
If the answer is no, then it’s important you find time to ask yourself why not?
It doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to change what you do, it may just be sufficient to change the how. “How is always more important than what”. “As soon as you honour the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease” (Power of Now).
So my advice? Take time to step back from a situation, allow yourself some space to reflect on the important things in life. For me, it’s working…But who knows 🙂
I’ve added into the post what I’m listening too whilst I write this post…
Enjoy your Sunday evening.
O.N xx
ordinarilyniki 